Life in general

Huh... Life can be a funny thing really. People can be infected mentally, with hatred and fear. Some people don't have enough strength to stand up for them selves. But they feel anger, Anger that they hold in until it comes out and they can't stop it. I feel that anger everyday. Lately I feel like i want to flip out, I want to yell at someone, or break down crying. It comes from a feeling of being over whelmed. I'm not sure how to deal with it. It makes me want to cry but that isn't going to fix any thing.


When I think of my childhood and how i was raised, I don't feel prepared for the real world. I mean i knew it wasn't going to be easy, that was a given, but it's like i don't understand things as well as i should... that also makes me feel over whelmed. That upsets me and i look down on myself, I think of me as too young to be out here. Living on my own. Huh... Even though i hated my childhood i miss how easy it was but i still wouldn't go back... I mean for an 18 year old I'm proud of where i am... i have a job and I'm going to school in Aug. *GuLp*





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I'm one to let fear take over... I have let it control me a lot of my life, and I have let it fuck a lot of things up for me. I mean I have gotten a lot better. When I first started my job at Sears i was thinking the worse. I didn't think i would get it. I thought i was going to hate it and fuck everything up....

I love my job... and i hate when i have to call in... but today i was not feeling well at all... my period 11 days and still going is kicking my ass... i was throwing up today... and I don't like it... i kind of wish i didn't get it any more... but eh what ever... i should go for now...